


Home Movies

by myjokerbias



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Humanstuck, baby!Dave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-10
Updated: 2015-05-10
Packaged: 2018-03-29 21:10:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3910819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myjokerbias/pseuds/myjokerbias
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat comes over to watch a movie and finds an unlabeled VHS tape that he and Dave decide to check out. Lot's of baby!Dave to follow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home Movies

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted some cute baby!Dave, so I decided to write some. Hope you enjoy!

“Why the hell do you guys have so many VHS tapes? Do you even have a VCR?” Karkat asked from his crouched position before the cabinet containing all of the movies that the Strider house-hold owned. He and Dave had been intending on watching a movie tonight and Dave didn’t have a preference, so it had been up to Karkat to decide. None of the titles had looked that interesting, and then Karkat found himself at the very bottom of the case, looking through a bunch of VHS tapes.

Dave shrugged. “Dunno, but yeah we have one still. It’s down there somewhere,” he said gesturing to the spot below the television.

Karkat’s eyes scanned all of the titles. A lot of them he didn’t recognize. Then, he came to a tape that didn’t have anything written on the side. It didn’t have a case either, so Karkat pulled it out. The front was also blank. Now, he was very curious. “What’s this one?” he asked, holding it up for Dave to see.

The young Strider squinted (although it couldn’t really be seen behind his glasses) as he leaned forward to see, but ended up shrugging again. “I have no idea, dude.”

Karkat was sorely tempted to see what it was. “We should put it in to see what it is. I want to know.”

Dave didn’t object and Karkat crawled over to the entertainment center. He found the VCR shoved to the back behind the Blu-ray player and pulled it out, sitting it on top. It wasn’t hooked up, which meant he had to do that too. He was beginning to feel like finding out what was on this tape wasn’t worth everything he had to go through.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t ever connected a VCR before, so it was relatively easy once he found where to plug everything in into the television. He plugged the blocky device into the outlet and turned it on, then shoved the tape into it.

Karkat joined Dave on the sofa right after. The black screen turned static, followed by the loud noise from nothing on the tape being played and Karkat frowned.

“Maybe nothing’s on it.”

Karkat went to get up to fast forward the tape to see, but just as he began to push himself up, the picture flickered on with the sound of someone snickering in the background on the tape. He and Dave both recognized it instantly to be from a camcorder. Looking to each other, they both had raised brows. They said nothing to each other and turned their gazes back to the screen.

“Aw…” came the voice again, and this time Dave recognized it to be Jake’s, his older brother’s long time best friend of seventeen years and boyfriend of the past seven of those years.

Most of the screen was dark. One could see some movement of the camera being jostled around while someone walked, but whatever room that person (Dave presumed Jake since it had been his voice) was in, it was dark as hell.

The lights flickered on shortly after and the camera showed what Dave recognized as his older brother, sleeping on the couch, except Dirk looked a whole lot younger. He was a little skinnier than he is now. That’s not to say he’s by any means overweight, the guy just has a whole lot more muscle going on now. What caught Dave’s attention next was the small child that was also sleeping, but on top of Dirk’s chest. There was no way that wasn’t him. He could never forget those tiny shades he used to run around the old apartment sporting. Never.

The snickering behind the camera continued and Jake moved around, coming closer to the couch. A few minutes passed of Jake cooing about how adorable the two looked before they could see Dirk’s mouth move, followed by his voice whispering, “Jake, if you wake him up, I swear I’ll kick your ass.” The elder Strider’s eyes opened, narrowing into a half-hearted glare. “And, for fucks sake, put that goddamned thing away.”

“I just wanted to try it out!” they heard Jake whisper yell back. “And, you should’ve seen you two. So adorable.”

“Put it away and go to sleep.”

There was a bit of grumbling from Jake, but then the camera shut off and the screen went back to static.

“Seriously, you’ve never seen this before?” Karkat asked, looking over at Dave.

Dave shook his head. “No, man. We shouldn’t bother with it, though, I mean who wants to watch home movies?”

“You’re not taking it out,” Karkat responded. “Maybe there’s more.”

Flopping against the back of the couch, Dave groaned. “But, bro,” he whined, “it’s super lame.”

At that moment, the static vanished and the image came back. Both boys shut up instantly and decided to watch.

“Ah-ah, Dave, no,” said Dirk’s voice somewhere off camera. The camera moved a couple feet over and they could see Dirk crawling over toward his baby brother on the floor, who had shoved his tiny sunglasses into his mouth. “Shades aren’t food, lil’ man.”

Dirk pulled the sunglasses out of Dave’s little hands. The toddler looked up and blinked, confused as to why his chew toy was gone. He giggled and raised a hand, slapping it against Dirk’s own sunglasses and dragging them off of his face. Dirk merely sighed and took them back before Dave could get them anywhere near his mouth. He shoved them on top of his head instead of putting them back on his face.

“What am I supposed to do with you? You can’t go around putting shit in your mouth all the time, Davey.”

Dave grinned brightly and giggled at the sound of his name. “Dirk!” he exclaimed, pointing at his big brother, however Dirk’s name came out sounding more like the word ‘duck’ than his name.

“Jake,” said Dirk, looking up toward the camera, “throw me his pacifier.”

The camera wobbled slightly as Jake presumably did as told. The pacifier was thrown through the air within a couple seconds and Dirk easily caught it. “Chew on this, babe,” he said handing it to Dave, who expertly shoved it into his mouth.

Despite all of the toys strewn around the room, Dave didn’t look interested in any of them. Karkat and Dave also noticed some wrapping paper shoved toward the edge of the screen. That meant one of two things: this was from one of Dave’s birthdays or it was from Christmas one year. The camera wobbled a bit more and then stilled. Jake came into view right after, and judging from the hideous Christmas sweater he was wearing, it was most likely Christmas or near Christmas. Now that Dave looked a little closer, he could somewhat see a couple of tree branches sticking into the frame in the lower right corner from the Christmas tree.

“Don’t open anymore presents without me!” Jake’s voice said somewhere off camera. “I need to go grab something real quick.”

While Jake was out of the room, Dirk got up and moved over to the right side of the camera where the tree was. He disappeared for a moment, but when he came back, he was carrying an armload of gifts. Placing them down next to Dave, Dirk resumed his spot on the floor in front of his brother.

Jake stepped back into view and walked over to Dave. He giggled as he put a small santa hat on top of Dave’s blond locks. “I almost forgot,” he explained, moving out of sight once more.

Dave had already begun to delve into the presents, the bright red and green colored wrapping paper capturing his attention. Dirk picked up a small one Dave had his hands all over and placed it in Dave’s lap. The toddler scratched his fingernails against the paper and began to quickly grow frustrated when the paper didn’t tear.

“No, no. Like this, baby,” Dirk’s gentle voice said, turning the present on its side. He tore a small piece of the side and grabbed Dave’s hand, bringing it to the paper. Dave caught on quickly and started to tear more of the paper away.

The next few minutes were spent with Dirk helping Dave open his presents and conversing with Jake now and again. The last present they watched Dave open was a bit small and lumpy, but easier for Dave to tear into on his own. He got half of the paper off before realizing what it was. Dirk tugged the bottom half off and watched his little brother with a tiny smile as the pacifier fell out of Dave’s mouth and he started waving the gift around, giggling. “Bear!” he exclaimed.

Holding it so that it was facing him, Dave smooshed his face into the fur and held it against his chest.

“I think we actually found something the stinker likes,” Dirk said, looking up toward the camera again. They could hear Jake giggle behind it.

Dave lifted his head and looked straight at Dirk. Still smiling, he began to crawl over to him, lugging the bear with him. He crawled into Dirk’s lap and hugged both the bear and Dirk, the bear being squished between the two of them.

“You like that, huh, lil’ bro?”

Dave pulled away and started making grabby hands toward Dirk’s face.

“What is it?” Dirk asked, leaning down closer to Dave.

The little boy’s hands came to rest on Dirk’s cheeks and he rubbed his tiny nose against the tip of Dirk’s own. Dirk placed a quick peck against Dave’s forehead which had the little one giggling all over again.

All of a sudden, Dave turned his smiling face to the camera and reached one arm out, curling and uncurling his fingers. “Mama Jake!”

“Yes, my darling?” they heard Jake respond.

Seventeen year old Dave nearly died on the spot from embarrassment and Karkat snorted next to him.

“Mama Jake?” he questioned, lifting a brow.

“Shut up,” Dave murmured, sinking further into the couch. “I was like three.”

On the screen, Dave crawled out of Dirk’s lap and started toward the camera, but Jake met him halfway, crouching down in front of him. Struggling with holding the bear in one of his hands, Dave attempted to push himself off the floor so that he was standing before Jake.

His hands grabbed Jake’s cheeks and he mimicked his older brother by pressing his lips against Jake’s forehead in a cute kiss. The two teenagers couldn’t see Jake’s face since his back was turned towards the camera, but they both knew there was a huge buck-toothed smile breaking out on it in that moment.

Once Dave was up on his feet and pulled away from Jake he started wondering around the room, picking up a random toys here and there. Dirk simply leaned back on his palms and watched him with an impassive expression. At one point, when it was obvious that Jake wasn’t paying attention, even though Dirk was and he just let it happen anyway, they could see Dave grab a long black cord running along the ground. Tugging it resulted in the camera starting to tilt, followed by Jake letting out an ‘oh shit!’ before it tumbled to the ground and the static returned.

When the picture returned a few seconds later, it wasn’t the same setting as before. It appeared to still be around Christmas time, perhaps a few days after, based on the snowman jammies Dave was decked out in while he sat in one of the chairs in the small dining room. He lifted a hand to grab the waffle on his plate and brought it to his mouth, taking a bite. This time he was also wearing his miniature shades that resembled Dirk’s own.

No one talked for a brief moment. The only sound came from some clattering behind the camera, and then Jake came into view with a sippy cup filled with what could only be apple juice, since that was all they could ever get Dave to drink, and he placed it on the table where Dave would be able to reach it.

“Is that waffle good?” they heard Jake say from behind the camera.

Dave nodded and held it in the air. “Good!” he exclaimed, smiling.

“Better than Dirk’s?”

Dave nodded again. “Mama Jakey,” Dave said taking another bite of the waffle. “food better!”

Jake laughed and Dave pulled a small piece of the waffle off, holding it out toward the camera. “You want to give me some?” Jake asked and Dave nodded, waving his hand up and down.

Jake’s hand appeared in the frame long enough to accept the food from Dave. “Well, thank you very much, Dave!”

Dave giggled and turned his gaze back to the food in his hands. “Welcome!”

“You wanna take a bath?” Jake said when Dave cleared his plate and all his apple juice was gone.

Dave brightened immediately. “Yeah!” He lifted his small arms up when Jake approached him, an indicator that he wanted Jake to pick him up and carry him.

Jake did as such. The camera started to move around once Jake walked out of the frame with Dave. They could see everything Jake passed in the apartment on his way to the bathroom. The camera was eventually set down somewhere in the bathroom, pointing only at a blank wall. A rush of water could be heard as Jake turned the bath water on.

“Do you want bubbles, Dave?”

“Bubbles!” came Dave’s exclamation off screen. “Lo’sa bubbles!”

“Lots of bubbles. Got it!”

The better part of the next five minutes was spent with the tub filling up and Jake helping Dave undress off camera. When the camera was moved again, it was facing the tub where Dave was happily splashing in the water. Seventeen year old Dave could only be extremely thankful that Jake did overflow the tub with bubbles so that Karkat couldn’t see anything he shouldn’t be seeing of three year old Dave.

He still groaned out loud though. “This is, like, majorly embarrassing, Kat.”

Karkat was just smiling, not tearing his eyes from the screen. “I think it’s cute,” he said.

At that moment, the front door of the apartment opened. There was some shuffling and then a small gasp. “Oh my gosh!” It was Jake. “I always wondered what happened to these! Aw, Dave, you were so cute.”

“Yeah, what happened?” came Dirk’s voice a little ways away.

Dave could feel his face burning. This was so embarrassing.

He was nudged over by Jake on the couch, now ending up sitting so close to Karkat that their sides were pressed against each other since Jake and Dirk both decided to take residence on the other side of the couch that was definitely not built large enough for four grown men to sit on.

“Sometimes I miss you being that little,” Dirk said as they watched the bathroom scene play out. “Weren’t so bratty. All giggles and smiles. But, damn am I glad that stupid camera finally broke.”

“Excuse you,” Jake said, poking Dirk in the side. “If it weren’t for that camera I bought we wouldn’t have all of this adorable footage here.”

“You carrying that thing around everywhere was annoying as hell, though.”

The bath footage ended, but the next scene started up almost immediately after. It was outside, a bunch of tables and chairs in the background with Dirk in the center of the frame holding Dave in his arms and looking away from the camera. Dave’s cheek was pressed against Dirk’s shoulder and the older brother was swaying gently as a high pitched voice spoke behind the camera.

“Aw, is someone not feeling good?”

“Goddammit, Roxy, where’d you get that? Where’s Jake?” Dirk asked, frowning.

“Oh, this was at my sister’s wedding, wasn’t it?” Jake asked as they watched.

Dirk nodded. “I think so, yeah.”

The camera zoomed in on Dave’s face and the tyke opened his eyes, starting at it curiously before closing them again and resuming chewing on his pacifier.

“He told me to hold onto his camera while he went to the store quickly. Maybe he’s getting some medicine for Dave,” Roxy replied. “But, that was like fifteen minutes ago. He should be back soon.”

Jake started laughing beside them. “I remember I gave the camera to Roxy to hold onto because I know if I left it with you you’d probably throw it in the lake.”

“Damn right I would’ve.”

On the screen, Dirk sighed quietly and lifted his shades, moving them on top of his head. He rubbed his eyes and glanced around, but Roxy’s voice pulled his attention back to the camera.

“Damn, Strider, you don’t look so great either.”

“I was up all night with Dave. He started running a small fever and then he threw up on the couch. Fucking English slept through it all.”

“Poor baby,” Roxy cooed. Her perfectly manicured pink nails could be seen as she reached her arm out to stroke Dave’s slightly flushed cheek.

Dave made a little noise. He swatted Roxy’s fingers away and started to whine, pushing his face into Dirk’s neck. Dirk gently rubbed Dave’s back which did a fantastic job in calming Dave down quickly.

“I got some children’s Tylenol,” Jake’s voice said close to the camera but off screen. When he stepped into frame, he was holding a dropper that was partially filled with the red liquid. “Dave, sweetie,” he said gently, bringing the dropper closer to the little boy’s face. “Jakey’s gonna need you to take this medicine.”

Dave whined and pushed it away from him.

“Hey, lil’ man,” said Dirk, gently grabbing Dave’s chin to look at him. “You don’t feel so hot, right?” Dave shook his head. “This,” Dirk continued, taking the dropper from Jake, “is gonna make you feel better and then you won’t feel so crappy. But, you gotta swallow all of it or it won’t work.”

Dave stared at the dropper, blinked, and looked up Dirk with a blank expression. Dirk moved it toward Dave’s face, but the toddler moved his head back.

Dirk sighed. “Okay.” He paused for a second. “What if you take this medicine and then on our way home, we’ll stop for ice cream. Would you like that?”

Dave blinked again and brought a hand up to grasp his pacifier, which he pulled out of his mouth. “Ice cream?” he asked in a tiny voice.

“All the ice cream you want, little guy. How about it?”

“I wan’ stwabewwy.”

“Strawberry?” Dirk inquired with a raised brow. “Well, I think we can certainly get you some strawberry ice cream.”

Dave smiled and, with one hand, he reached out to grab the dropper, pulling it to his mouth. His lips pursed and he squeezed his eyes shut at the flavor of the medicine. “Yuck!”

Dirk cracked a smile and Jake reached his arm out with Dave’s sippy cup in hand. Dave wrapped his hand, that wasn’t holding his pacifier, around one of the handles while Jake tilted the cup, helping Dave drink it. He soon replaced the cup with Dave’s teddy bear, which Dave happily accepted after shoving his pacifier back in his mouth. He hugged the bear to his chest and rested his cheek against Dirk’s shoulder again.

“He looks tired,” Jake commented, rubbing a hand along Dave’s back.

“Yeah, we’re probably just going to head out soon, I guess,” Dirk said, looking down at Dave. “He needs a nap.”

“Here,” Jake said digging into his pocket. “Take my car. It’s a smoother ride. Jane wants me to stay until everyone leaves to help clean up and all that.”

He handed Dirk a set of keys and Dirk swapped his own with him. Dirk nodded and said nothing else as he put his shades back on his face.

“Bye-bye, little man,” Roxy said, reaching forward to tousle Dave’s hair while Jake and Dirk were talking in the background.

The camera moved down, giving them a bland view of the concrete and then the picture went away. There was a little more footage after that of the wedding with people dancing and talking. Dave recognized a few of them.

The next time Dave’s face popped up on screen, he was leaning against a wall with his arms crossed and his mini-shades adorning his small face. There was a chuckle from behind the camera. Dave’s chin was angled up ever so slightly, but noticeably, and his lips were resting in a thin line. He looked the most composed that a three year old could look.

A snort sounded, followed by Jake’s voice, “Dave, you look pretty cool standing over there like that.”

There was no response except for Dave slowly turning his head toward the camera. His expression remained blank as ever.

“Are you a cool kid?” Jake asked.

Silence ensued, followed by Dave’s high voice responding impassively, “The coolest.”

“The coolest? Wow, really?”

Dave nodded.

“I’m impressed. It must be hard to be the coolest.”

Karkat started to snicker. Dave elbowed him in the side. Karkat smacked his arm.

“Cooler than your bro?”

Dave nodded.

“Oh yeah?” said Dirk’s voice somewhere off screen. “You think you’re cooler than me, squirt?”

There was a barely noticeable twitch of Dave’s lips on screen.

“Way cooler,” Dave replied.

A foot appeared in the frame and poked Dave in the side causing the little boy to squirm and push it away. The foot pressed against Dave’s side again and this time dug into it a little more, moving up and down. A small giggle accidentally escaped Dave’s lips. He frowned and swatted the foot away.

The foot didn’t back down and continued prodding and rubbing up and down Dave’s side until the boy was giggling like mad and his shades slipped off his face.

“Who’s the coolest now, huh?” Dirk asked.

“B-bwo!” Dave managed to get out between his giggles and the foot stopped the torment, dropping to the ground.

“That’s right, kid.”

Dave crouched down to scoop up his fallen shades and popped them back on his face.

“You might not be as cool as your bro, but I just know you’re gonna be the coolest kid in preschool!” Jake exclaimed.

Dave grinned and jumped. “Yeah!”

“Are you excited for your first day today?”

Nodding, Dave clasped his hands behind his back and started rocking on his heels. “Yep!”

“And, you’re gonna make all sorts of cool new friends, right?”

“Mm-hm!”

“All the other kids aren’t gonna know what hit ‘em when you walk in that classroom,” Dirk finally piped in. “Everyone’s gonna want to be best friends with Dave cool kid Strider, am I right?”

Dave giggled as he turned to look at Dirk off screen. “Yes!”

“With your awesome sick-nasty shades and that cooler than cool record shirt, you’re gonna have all the kids wantin’ to play with ya.”

“All of ‘em!” Dave exclaimed excitedly.

“Well then,” Jake began, moving the camera around slightly, “we should get going, shouldn’t we? We don’t wanna make the cool kid late on his first day, huh?”

“Cool kids should never be late,” Dirk agreed.

The image of Dave filled up the screen more as Jake walked closer to him with the camera and then crouched down. “Say bye to the camera, Dave.”

A large grin spread across Dave’s face as he waved and shouted, “Bye!”

Right after, the screen turned into static and then went black, the tape having finally ended.

“We’ve gotta have more of those around here somewhere,” said Jake. “We used to have a big stack of them.”

“That one was in the bottom shelf of the cabinet,” Karkat replied, pointing to said cabinet. “Maybe there’s more there.”

Dave groaned and grabbed Karkat’s arm before he could get off the couch. “No, we are not watching anymore of that.”

Jake chuckled and pushed himself up, walking over to the cabinet. “You don’t have to watch them, Dave,” he said, beginning to look through all the VHS tapes. “But, I most certainly am. I haven’t seen these in years!”

Karkat smirked and sat back down next to Dave, who let go of his arm. “Yeah, go ahead and leave. I’m fine right where I’m at.”

Almost on the verge of pouting, Dave turned to his last resort. “Bro.”

Dirk shrugged, turning his gaze from watching Jake to look at Dave.

“I’m cool with it.”

“Hey, I found a couple more!” Jake exclaimed, holding up the tapes.

Walking over to the VCR, he ejected the tape and popped a new one in, resuming his spot on the couch after. The screen flickered to life revealing an almost naked four year old Dave being chased around the apartment by his older brother.

Groaning, Dave sunk into the couch, wishing the entire thing would swallow him whole as he subjected himself to hours more of embarrassment.


End file.
